For the second time I’m trying to write down all the thoughts that have found a home in my mind. While I’m drinking my coffee and I’m scrolling trough Instagram this morning I’m thinking about this weird feeling in my chest that is hunting me for days, it’s nothing that I can’t control but why is it still there after all this time?
We find our self in this new chaotic ‘’social life’’ from the moment we leave the bed to the one we get back into it, we are constantly in the need to produce something that other people are going to like, we are constantly under the pressure to prove, to show that we are having the best time ever even if that’s not true and for who takes it more seriously it starts to hunt your mind and order you to create, create , create. I’m not complaining about social media let’s be clear, I’m complaining about the way we are using it today and the way this is making me feel today.
Who would ever have thought hundred years ago that everyone could say something and be heard no matter where they live or what they do? Who would ever have thought that we would have been able to create new jobs or CHANGE something in the world? No one.
Now I want you to think about something, remember when Instagram didn’t exist? Now picture yourself on a Saturday morning going to buy a magazine to read and while you read it you see all these incredible photos, girls, boys, clothes, places and you dream about it? You’d like to be one of them or look like them or visit those places in the magazine or just wear what they wore. Then you close the magazine and you get back to your life and you would only open it again when you would need some inspiration for what to wear to a party or a day out. You close it.
Can you see the difference? We don’t close Instagram. We don’t close our phones. Those perfect photos, those perfect places, clothes, people, life they are under our eyes hours and hours a day. After a few years this becomes the reality of the world you live in and you feel like you MUST be or live like them. You can’t close it, otherwise you will be disconnected by the entire world.
Now, imagine that you are posting your passion on the Internet (Twitter, Instagram, YouTube whatever…) and you see that people like you and what you do, and the number goes up and up and you see first opportunities that you would ever never thought to have and the algorithm changes or you change, and everything stops. The likes, the numbers, the comments, but you feel like you are still you, so you start getting obsessed with what you must put out there and you start to post what everyone does but then it’s not what you love anymore, it’s not your passion anymore and no matter the numbers you will end up with THAT feeling. The one that I have right now.
Instagram changed. It does every day. Instagram is something WE CAN NOT control, someone else does that. What we can control is WHAT WE DO, WHAT WE CREATE and WHAT WE DECIDE TO SHARE. I made the mistake to stop seeing it to share what I loved and started to see it as ‘’SOMETHING THAT I HAD TO DO’’ which made me lose it.
I started because I loved photography. I started because I love fashion and I loved styling. I started because I wanted to inspire someone. I started because I love writing. I started because it made me feel happy.
I want to get back where I started two/ three years ago.
Two days ago, I got a DM on Instagram from a girl saying that I was an inspiration to her, and that she loved my style. My heart was full of love in that moment, in a moment where I needed it, that girl (hello if you are reading this) helped me realizing what I was missing. I needed a break, I needed to think about myself.
I failed my ‘’new year goals’’ but I’m building new ones! Expect some changes. Expect the 100% me. Expect some STYLE AND TELL.
// The outfit is from OVS and HM ( not sponsored ) //
( Come say hi on my Instagram to see what happens in my life )